I am sitting in my office realizing that today is a day that may require three vanilla venti lattes.
It was a particularly long morning getting the 5 kids and hubby out the door and getting to my annual mammogram (Breast Cancer Awareness month), bone density scan and blood work (more to come on this fun part of my day) all by 9:00 a.m. This week is homecoming for three of the five so each day is a different theme. Sounds fun, right? I remember how exciting spirit week always was at East High, but I don’t remember my Mom being the one to pull it all together. I’m sitting here thinking that having my boobs squeezed like grapefruits was the easiest part of the morning.
Why so crazy? Today was “preppy” day at school for spirit week. Try describing “preppy” in simple terms at 6:00 a.m. — polos, plaid shorts, top siders and a sweater around the neck. Everyone falls into line except the oldest son — our Aspie kid – to him it was “ridiculous” – he reminded me that he dresses like this everyday. “Preppy means happy” – no dear one, that is peppy — “you want me to wear my church clothes to school? — that is ridiculous” – well, prep is kind of back in again — “Mom, you have NO CLUE what preppy even is” – I promise, I was the queen of preppy — I wrote the handbook on preppy for heaven’s sake — “then, I’m not going to school today – you are ruining my spirit week.” Ahh — this is a great time for Dad to try explaining preppy vs. peppy.
About this time, I am feeling the pain of having no caffeine in my system (per the nurses orders for my squeeze today). Up the stairs comes my middle, football playing, adorable, fun, high-schooler – the life of the party – a smile that lights up a room – curly blond hair that you can’t help but grabbing – and a big, fat, stinking, F in the easiest class in the world. Yep — an F! I meet him at the top of the stairs before he can even grab a banana. Our eyes met. He had the look of “holy shit” what does she know?! I smile that Mom smile that says “do you have anything to tell me before I start screaming?”. “The coach already talked to me, so you don’t need to even start.” Really? – well I think I can add on to what the coach said, believe me sweetie pie! – “I have one missing assignment, okay Mom? Calm down”. Oh no he didn’t – calm down?!?!?!! Ahh – this is another great time for Dad to step in to try explaining why an F isn’t going happen now or ever.
Those should have been the highlights of the morning, however, there were also 2 lost homework assignments, finding two baskets of clean clothes stuffed in the back of another son’s closet, a dog that has decided that high pitch barking needs to happen 24 hours a day to get my attention and my annual “let me squeeze the crap out of your boobs and make small talk at the same time” appointment.
So, off I go for my “almost 50” exams – the three B’s – bones, boobs and blood. I actually think the morning was perfect — the craziness with the kids helped me forget all about what was about to happen. I finished and felt like running into the parking lot with my arms raised screaming “I DID IT AND IT ONLY HURT A LITTLE!”. I get in the car, turn up the radio LOUD and drive as fast as possible for my morning caffeine …. preppy, peppy, laundry, F’s — who cares, right? Momma has her latte!